How to Overcome Hostess Myths
Are you the kind of person that wants to host parties and events at your house, but for some reason you feel like you aren’t “qualified”? Perhaps you think your home is too small, that your cooking skills aren’t good enough, or that you just don’t know how to plan a party and feel overwhelmed with where to even start.
If any of these describe you, then you are in the right place! This post was designed to boost your confidence as a hostess, debunk all of the myths behind entertaining, and help you to overcome your hostess fears. This article will allow you to see how anyone is qualified to host an event, no matter your skillset, hosting background, or your home itself.
What is this Imposter Syndrome I Keep Hearing About?
Imposter syndrome is a popular term these days. It relates to the fears that one feels about being discovered as a fraud, just because one doubts their own abilities and skills. You feel as if you are faking your way through, and worry that someone will find out that you really don’t know what you are doing. How many of us have felt that?
Let me let you in on a little secret… we’ve all felt this way! In our careers, our home life, or relationships, somewhere, at some time, we have all felt like we’re just faking it till we make it. This “syndrome” is just a part of life. We are all constantly learning, improving our knowledge and skillsets, and it’s normal for us to feel insecure about our own capabilities. But we need to be confident in ourselves and realize that we can do anything we set our minds to.
Debunking Hostess Myths
Hostess Myth #1 “I Need to be an Extrovert to be a Good Host”
False! This one hits close to home for me. I am very much an introvert and sometimes worry if I will have enough to say to my guests, and what I will do if the conversation stops flowing. If this is something that you too are concerned with, here are a few tips.
Plan an Activity
Games and activities are a great way to keep the party going without the need for conversation. So, think of an activity or group game that would be a fun addition to your event. Then when there’s a lull in the conversation, that means it’s time to break out the game!
Have Conversation Starters
Whether this is for one on one or group chat, consider preparing some topics in advance. It may sound silly to have these conversation starters on hand, but it can help take the pressure off of yourself. Brainstorm some ideas of what to talk about before your event to help you feel more prepared.
Ask for Help
If you really are concerned about the party vibe, ask an extrovert for help. I always count on my husband, Daniel, for this, he is great at filling in any awkward or unwanted silence. Think of a more social friend that you have and ask them if they could take the reins if the party vibe starts to die down. Often these individuals are more than happy to help!
Focus on Your Guests
I would like to note that even if you are an introvert, like me, and struggle with being overly social, you don’t need to be the life of the party. You just need to be inviting. Let conversations flow, focus on your guests, and show that you care enough to remember what’s happening in their lives. That alone will go a long way in making a friendly atmosphere for your guests.
Hostess Myth #2: “I Have to be a Great Cook to be a Good Host”
This is so not true. You don’t by any means have to be a good cook to entertain! There are plenty of ways that you can keep your cooking to a minimum or boost your culinary skills if you’re up for it.
Order In
There’s no shame in having a catered event. You can make this as fancy or basic as you would like, it all depends on the type of event. Order pizza for a casual get-together, or food from your favorite takeout spot. You can even get food from the local bakery or deli and display it in nice dishware, so no one knows it’s store-bought.
Make your Specialty
Party food doesn’t have to be elaborate. You can cook what you make for yourself on a regular basis. Think about your favorite homemade meals that you make well and stick to these! If you don’t know where to start, ask your friends and family what they like best that you cook and go from there.
Borrow a Recipe
Do you love something that your grandma makes when you visit? Or does your neighbor have an amazing signature dish that she always brings over? Ask to use their recipe, or better yet, ask them to show you how to make it. That’s the best way to learn to cook, and it will improve your own cooking skills.
Have a Co-host
Hostess Myth #3: “I Need a Big House to Entertain Guests”
False, again. While a larger home may make hosting easier and more flexible, it is by no means required. I used to host parties all the time in my tiny one-room apartment, and a friend that would host in her studio. The key here is to optimize the space that you have. Check out this post on How to Entertain in a Small Space.
If you have a small space, you just have to get creative. Move furniture around, bring in chairs from other rooms, or use your floor space if you have to. If you’re still uncomfortable hosting in your home, or are looking for a specific vibe, consider renting out a space or trying that party co-host option here. Ask to use a friend’s house in exchange for you taking care of the other details.
Hostess Myth #4: “I Have to Spend a Lot of Money on a Party”
Umm… no. Some of the best parties are simple ones. You don’t need to offer your guests a buffet of food or deck out every inch of your house. Many parties I host have no special decorations at all, and you can easily make a budget-friendly menu.
Host Between Meals
You can save some money by timing your gathering between meals. This means that your guests should have eaten more recently and should therefore eat less at the event. Offer beverages and snack food, such as simple appetizers, dips, and charcuterie boards instead.
Skip the Deorations
Most parties don’t require any decorations. All you need is a clean and tidy house! Music can help to set a mood, along with lighting, and whatever you are serving your guests. Simple things like fresh flowers or some seasonal touches can go a long ways in making your house look a bit more festive.
Make it a Potluck
This is the easiest way to save you some money while making your guests feel included. Many guests are happy to contribute to an event and often enjoy bringing something with them. Don’t hesitate to turn your next event into a potluck.
Hostess Myth #5: “I Have to be Creative to Plan an Event”
Even if you are not naturally creative, there are so many ideas out there to inspire you! The web (and Pinterest) has really helped when it comes to getting visual ideas for events. As stated before, you don’t need to decorate for an event, but if you want to plan something fun and creative, I guarantee you can find inspiration! The best places to start are by picking your theme, a color palette, or using a holiday as a starting point.
Surf the Web
These all have plenty of fun theme ideas to get you started.
Flip Through Magazines and Books
I love having magazines and books around for inspiration, it feels nostalgic, and there’s something about flipping through pages of creative ideas. Buy some home magazines at the grocery store or go to your local library and check out their entertaining books for décor, recipes, and theme inspiration.
Visit Party Supply Stores
You may be thinking some of this is a bit cheesy for your adult party, and you’re right, but you can usually find a few pieces for inspiration. These party stores are great for themes and supplies like banners, arches, and balloons. Go online to Oriental Trading Company, Amazon, or see if there is a party store near you.
I use these places as inspiration, but don’t usually purchase too much from them. Instead of buying a party pack, get one or two cutesy things that you like, and mix them with some nicer décor. You don’t want your event to feel like a kids’ party. Unless that’s what you’re going for!
Hostess Myth #6: “I Don’t Have Time to Plan a Party”
Planning an event can be super simple when you follow these Party Planning Basics. When it comes to the party details, it’s all quite simple really and does not need to take up much of your time. All you need is to set a date and time, make a guest list, decide on the menu, and choose a theme (if you want one). I also recommend you plan an activity or game. That’s it! The rest is just the prep before the event. Read the post for more details and how to follow through with each of these steps.
Hostess Myth #7: “I Need Experience to Host a Party”
Anyone can host a party! Always remember that it is about the company and socialization, not the food, drinks, or décor. Those are fun elements that are important, but not the core foundation for an event. The meaningful part is the interactions, the relationships that are built and strengthened. Closer bonds
were made because you decided to get people together! So, if your heart is in it, that’s all you need to be able to host a successful event.
Check out these Tips for a Stress-Free Party to get you feeling confident about hosting your next gathering!
