Grandma's Most Reliable Hospitality Tips
Our grandmothers, and great-grandmothers, were part of a generation of great hostesses. It seemed to come naturally to them, opening their homes to everyone, for any and all occasions. These hospitality tips are something we can learn from them and apply in our own lives.
These days we tend to stress over all the details of an event, worrying every step of the way. Why is this? Did grandma just hide her stress better than we do? Or are we missing something here?
I believe that we are indeed missing something very important, the true heart and beautiful simplicity behind being a great hostess. The part where we focus on putting hospitality first. We need to reassess our generation’s approach to entertaining, and our grandmas are the perfect role models for getting us back on track.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #1:
Focus On Your Guests
Growing up you would sit on your grandparent’s outdated furniture and eat things like instant mashed potatoes and canned vegetables. But you know what? I bet you never felt unwelcome, not even once. Why is that? Because grandma wasn’t there to impress anyone. Instead, she was focusing on hospitality. On making you feel welcomed, invited, and like you were the best investment of her time. Even in a house full of people, she still made time for each and every one of her guests, making them feel like the only person in the room.
Think about why you are inviting people into your home. Is this intended to be a “look at me” event? Where you can show off your fancy cooking skills or newly designed floorplan? While those are things you should be proud of and happy to share with those in your life, this should not be why you are hosting.
Your intent is to make people feel at home, to show them that you invited them over because you value their company. Show this by giving them your undivided attention, just like grandma would. Engage with them, ask them questions, remember past conversations, and let them know that you care. (Need some talking points? Read these 250 conversation starters for some ideas.)
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #2:
Always Have Something to Eat
Did you ever once go over to your grandma’s house and find she had nothing to eat? No, there was always something to snack on, something she had to offer when you stopped by. It wasn’t usually fancy, but the simplicity was the best part. It was the thought, the fact that she made sure to have things on hand for others.
So how do we do this? If you are like me, you might struggle with this and are likely overthinking it. You don’t have to make anything elaborate, keep things simple like grandma did. Stock some staples that are easy to throw together. Chips and dip, crackers and cheese, frozen appetizers (like mozzarella sticks or shrimp cocktail), a box of cookies. Some basic staples in your pantry and freezer will help you feel prepared for guests. Make a list of simple go-to snacks that you can easily keep on hand, as well as some quick and easy meals. Check out Food Network’s perfectly easy last-minute appetizers from the pantry.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #3:
This is Your Home
One thing that was very clear in grandma’s house was that it was where they lived. While it was clean and tidy, it wasn’t spotless by any means. It was a well-loved and well-lived in home. There was a tv in the living room, and toys for the kids neatly put away in the corner. It was perfectly imperfect, inviting without feeling staged.
Sometimes we focus too much on our houses being immaculate and don’t realize that too much perfection can actually make it unwelcoming. It should feel like you live here! It should reflect your personality, your style, and include the things that make you happy. Don’t make your house look like a magazine, make it look like home, so your guests can feel at home when they visit.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #4:
Always be Welcoming
Grandma’s door was always open. Family and friends would drop by, or call for a last-minute visit and she was more than happy to accommodate them. Any visitor knew that they would find a warm welcome any time of day. Grandma always made time for those in her life.
And what about us? Many of us, including myself, would go into stress mode if someone just showed up at our door, or asked to come by the house in an hour. We start panicking that our house isn’t in order, that we don’t look presentable, or that we don’t have anything “good enough” for them to eat… all the little worries that start running through our heads in a matter of seconds.
What we should be doing is realizing that those details don’t really matter. If your house isn’t as clean as you’d like, that’s perfectly acceptable for a lived-in home. Let the mess, the lack of planning, and all of that go. Focus on the person at your door and do all you can to make them feel welcome during the time they are visiting.
Please note that I am not encouraging you to let people stop by all of the time or that you should drop everything (or cancel plans) for people stopping by on short notice. People need to be respectful and you need to be aware when people are taking advantage of your hospitality. I am simply saying that we should be more flexible and inviting to those that seek our company. Not everything in life has to be planned or scheduled.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #5:
A Home Should be Comfortable
That old furniture of grandma’s may have been outdated, perhaps even with some ghastly floral print, but I bet that was the most comfortable couch you’ve ever sat on. And the best part is that you weren’t afraid to sit on it or even eat a meal on it! As I discuss in this post on the Do’s and Don’ts for a Cozy Home, your house is not meant to feel like a museum. If your furniture is uncomfortable, your guests will feel uncomfortable.
Furniture speaks so much to a home’s sense of welcome. If the seating arrangements are stiff or cold, (who wants to sit on a metal chair?) how are your guests supposed to relax in that space? If you have an old worn-out couch, know that couch just might play a big role in the inviting atmosphere of your home.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #6:
No House is Too Small
Most of us grew up with grandparents who didn’t have a lot. They didn’t have a big fancy home and they didn’t serve extravagant meals. Instead, they lived in small homes, often 2 or 3 bedrooms, and were lucky to even have a formal dining room. But they made the most of their space, and never let that stop them from inviting someone over. They would pack the house, with people visiting in every room, gathering indoors and outdoors, or even sitting on the floor when there weren’t enough chairs. Everyone was there to visit, not caring if there was enough room or not.
These days we are constantly worrying about the size of our homes, and this often limits or completely stops us from having guests over. As I have stated in my post about Entertaining in Small Spaces, the size of your house does not matter. Even someone with a studio apartment can host guests. Let people sit on your bed or throw some pillows on the floor for cushions. If everyone feels welcomed and included, the lack of space won’t be an issue. Remember it’s about the company, not the space itself.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #7:
Don’t Overcomplicate Things
We stress out, overthink and over plan everything these days. We take the happiness out of hosting by stressing and worrying. But what did grandma do? She didn’t seem to fuss over the menu, the décor, or any of these details. I think the times of the Depression helped with the mindset of eating and enjoying what you have. Crackers and spray cheese? Sounds like the perfect appetizer. I have poultry in the fridge, so it’s fried chicken for dinner. Grandma cooked her staple meals, used the same dishes she ate off of every day, and you could always help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Of course, you can modernize this menu with slices of real cheese, but know that the concept here is to keep it simple. Don’t overthink it. What you have and use in your home is good enough for your guests, and not every event has to be planned. Once again, it’s not so much about appearances as the feeling of connection you offer in your home.
Grandma’s Hospitality Tip #8:
Scents Trigger Memories
Everyone has certain scents that bring back fond memories of their grandmothers. Baby powder, a certain scented soap, the perfume she wore… Even the smell of certain foods can make you reminisce on grandma’s stew or homemade pie.
Make your home memorable with scents that make memories. Every home has a scent to it, whether you are aware of it or not. I use to have a friend tell me that I smelt like my house all the time, something that she meant as a compliment but I didn’t even notice. Consider what your home smells like, and incorporate the scents that you love most into your entertaining routine, as a way to help those memories stand out for your guests.
Grandma Did it Best
I am a true believer that the older generations were better at living life than we are these days. We are so focused on technology or our own selves that we forget to live in the world. We ignore the people that are right in front of us, like we have lost our ability to engage with each other, in person. Let’s bring this back, let us focus on our real relationships, the ones that matter. Let’s invite people into our homes like grandma did, without hesitation. Let us create welcoming homes and put hospitality where it belongs, at the forefront of entertaining.
Do you feel a lot of pressure from the expectations of being a party hostess? Then take a look at How to Overcome Hostess Myths.
